Friday, 4 March 2011

Charlie Sheen, eh?

HEY YOU! Yeah, you, student, teacher, passerby, whatever. What is it that you fear the most? Death? Poverty? Illness? Impotence? Whatever it is, the chances are that at some point in your life you’re going to have to face at least one of these fears full on in the face. So what’s the next step? Well you might quiver and faint and end up sipping Horlicks while your mother strokes your forehead and whispers calming words. That’d be fine, except it’d be boring. Why not follow in the footsteps of the heavily controversial Charlie Sheen?
Sheen this week set the Internet into a frenzy that hasn’t been seen since Emma Watson’s nipple fell out of her dress last week.  Appearing on Good Morning America, enthusiastic Sheen gave an interview in which he attempted to clear up some of the stories about him that the press had been circulating. Turns out they’re all true. In his own words, Sheen stated he was “…banging seven gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll.” When asked if he was bipolar, Sheen simply stated that he wasn’t, saying instead that he was “bi-winning.” All of this because his brain “…fires in a way that is maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm.” Right off the bat, everyone assumed that he’d “banged” one of those seven grams rocks right before the interview and that the Charlie Sheen we all know was in fact now a crazy drug addict who should be locked up and hidden from the public indefinitely. Except he wasn’t. Sheen took a drug test, blood and piss, right after the interview and passed both without fail. So what can we learn from this, and how can we use Sheen to improve our lives?
            Sheen is a clear mascot for the “Fuck it, just do it” approach to life. He speaks of wild parties with porn stars and coke with a certain fondness but also with a sense of distance. He’s done that part of his life; he doesn’t have to do it again. Now Sheen could have backed away from all of this, hired a press agent to cover it all over and carried on making mediocre episodes of Two and a Half Men. But instead of running from it all, he simply turned around, probably with a shrug of his shoulders and simply asked “What?” No one can deny that he hasn’t been totally candid with the world and yeah sure, he seems a bit quirky in the interview, but that doesn’t matter. The fact is that there are no more secrets, no more opportunities for people to try and create rumour because he dealt with it. Charlie-fuckin’-Sheen is a good example of a guy who does what he wants. It’s his life, who’s going to tell him not to? Me? You? Are you seriously going to walk up to Charlie Sheen and be like, “What the dick are you doing?” I don’t think you are, I certainly wouldn’t. So next time you’re in a funk and all you want is mummy and daddy think of Charlie Sheen and face the “bull-S-H-I-T” in the face. The worst that will happen is you’ll die and as Sheen said, “Dying is for Losers.”

All quotes from Charlie Sheen.
Interview can be seen at:

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